a cheese sandwich by committee

This blog piece was so spot on it had to be shared word for word from the horse's mouth.
That horse is Dave Trott - legendary creative director, and currently chairman of The Gate, London.
Client 1: “So, we had the four best chefs in London compete to make the best cheese sandwich, and you won.”
Chef:        “Thank you.”
Client 3: “We do just have a couple of detailed points.” 
Chef:        “Detailed points?”
Client 4: “The bread.” 
Chef:        “The bread?” 
Client 4: “The bread wasn’t toasted.”
Client 1: “Not everyone likes toasted bread.”
Client 4: “But some people do.”
Client 2: “So here’s an idea, how about if we toast one slice?”
Client 1: “Good call: one slice toasted, one slice not.”
Client 4: “Okay, then there’s the cheese.”
Chef: “The cheese?”
Client 4: “Not everyone like the same cheese.”
Client 3: “True, some people like strong blue cheese, some people like sweet cheese like Mascarpone.”
Client 2: “Some people like plain old cheddar, some people like spreadable Dairylea.”
Client 4: “We don’t want to alienate anyone.”
Client 1: “Hey, why don’t we use all 4 different cheeses?”
Client 4: “Nice: that way we cover all the options.”
Client 2: “But what about the crusts, on or off?”
Client 3: “Difficult question, people like it both ways.”
Client 1: “Let’s go with one slice, crusts on – one slice, crusts off.”
Client 4: “Great, that way everyone’s included.”
Client 2: “Another point, how should the sandwich be cut?”
Client 3: “Tricky: crossways is too masculine, corner-to-corner could be seen as too formal.”
Client 1: “I think we have to cover all the bases.”
Client 4: “True, how about we cut one half crossways and the other half diagonally?”
Chef: “We can’t do that.”
Client 2: “Why are you being awkward?”
Chef: “I’m not, but it can’t physically be done.”
Client 2: “Hmmmm, how about if we used two different halves of two different sandwiches?”
Client 3: “Now we’re getting somewhere: one half cut in quarters crossways, one half cut in quarters diagonally.”
Client 4: “Okay the final point now, the topping.”
Chef: “The topping?”
Client 4: “Yes, you didn’t have a topping – people like toppings.”
Client 1: “People like different kinds of toppings.”
Client 2: “Some people like mustard, some people like mayonnaise.”
Client 3: “Some people like onion, some people even like jam.”
Client 4: “Well spotted, we can’t afford to exclude anyone.”
Client 1: “I think we have to account for all tastes.”
Client 2: “How about if we use all those toppings?”
Client 3: “You’ve cracked it. There’s something for everyone.”
Client 4: “So we have a cheese sandwich that’s got one slice toasted, one slice not. One slice with crusts on, one slice not.”
Client 1: “Half of it cut into little squares, half cut into little triangles.”
Client 2: “Made with Blue Cheese, Mascarpone, Cheddar and Dairylea.”
Client 3: “Topped with mustard, mayonnaise, onion and jam.”
Client 4: “It’s foolproof. It’s can’t fail to work for everyone.”

Ring any bells out there?

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